"Movement at the Marsh"9"x12'
acrylic on canvas
Last Saturday I set out early to Supawana Meadows to paint the marsh area again. Guided by my great wisdom I decided to stand amongst the reeds in the dirt. As the bugs devoured my flesh and my pochade box sank into the mud, I considered how much I had yet to learn about painting en plein air.
Later that weekend I cycled with my favorite group from The Peddler's Shop. After we rode for about 20 miles I was asked if I would be riding Breakneck Road. Only the diehards were going, as it is a few miles of a series of difficult inclines. Of course I would ride "Breakneck". Of course.
When Monday rolled around I thought it would be a good idea to really work hard at the gym because obviously I was feeling great. Now was the time to get in top form Now was also the time to get my art business going and to schedule meetings with galleries and book days for my booth. I was making business commitments left and right. I should have been committed.
Tuesday I bonked. The "Tour de Lor" had come to an end. Even Lance Armstrong went downhill sometimes. Didn't I just say that when you feel like you are going up the down escalator you should switch directions? Many posts ago I advised smelling the roses and taking time just to "be". Well, it goes to show you that even I, who should know better, got sucked in to the race.
The desire to be the best and move forward can be a force that drives you right into the ground. It can drain the joy out of your favorite activities. Left unchecked, it can make you lose sight of your purpose. I'm guilty, guilty, guilty.
I share this little lament because I want you to see that all that glitters is not gold. So many lovely folks send me emails telling me how great I'm doing and how they are inspired. Maybe if you know the mistakes I make you'll stop yourself before you do the same.
Life is so very short. Yes, that sentence has been played out. However, it doesn't mean that you should fill every minute with busyness in order to be really living. It means being present and aware of each precious moment, enjoying what you are doing not just working to cross off another task on your "to do" list.
I just threw my list away. Screw it.
4 comments:
i'm an up person about 99 percent of the time, but i also live in reality...
Thanks for an enlightened, enlightening post, Lori.
Being in the moment means doing what feels right at that given time.
Wishing you less bonking and more happy, healthy days ahead, regardless of whether they include painting, cycling, walking, working out, meeting peeps, what have you...
The only person you need to be the best for is yourself. For me, some days i have high energy, some days i'm more reserved... it's all a part of life, and we all have the bonks to even out the manic moments.
The marsh painting is GORGEOUS. Truly beautiful, and worth the kinda icky stuff that you had to withstand part of the time you were not just in the moment, but in the world of that painting.
Ouch! My hip hurts just reading your post!
i know what you are saying princess lori... there are days when i feel the energy level is higher than ever before (seemingly) and take off to tackle it all. but those are usually followed by a bonk. you'd think we'd have learned! but how can you tell girls like us to chill out? i guess we are still healing, still testing limits (new and old), and of course, still so psyched to be living lives on the other side of crappy treatments.
i picked up a great book on vacation - a children's book anbout taking the time to greet each day. it slows me down and forces a deep, congratulatory, grateful breath and i move on. good things give pause.
keep a steady pace and keep smiling. we'll learn one of these days. we rock. don't forget it.
One day at a time dear sister..one day at a time. Crawl first, baby steps next and then run like hell!!!
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